In an archetypal story, one night, a man dreams of a treasure buried under a house in a faraway land. ?He ventures out from his home, embarking on a long, treacherous journey to the place of his dreams. ?On the way, he meets both obstacles and omens, and in the end he reaches his destination.

In the house he has dreamt of, he meets a man. ?He reveals the secret of his dream to this man, hoping to be led to the site of the treasure. ?Instead, the second man laughs and calls him foolish, telling the first man he has had the same dream, and describing the location of the house in the faraway land from his dreams. ?The first man stands still, stunned into silence, for he realizes the second man is describing the exact location of his own house, and that the treasure he is seeking has been buried under his own house all along.

What treasure are you chasing? ?Is it success? ?Happiness? ?Or perhaps enlightenment? ?Wealth? ?Or love?

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Dear Doubt,

I’m sorry, but I’ve had enough.

It’s over between us. ?That’s right, over.

You and I have dragged on this relationship for far too long, and just look at us–we’re a wreck. ?Our relationship is just not serving either of us anymore.

It’s not you, it’s me. ?Or is it you? I don’t know.

I just know I need some space–you’ve been hanging around way too often lately and frankly, you’re suffocating me.

I know we have had our moments together. ?Those long walks on the beach that never seemed to end. ?Unforgettable nights in bed together (sometimes we never even made it to the bed from the floor). ?Days and days where we would stay together, intertwined, staring into space, spinning, swirling. ?We’ve always had those conversations that could go on for hours, and they often did. Read More

Surrender. ?Feel yourself on the inside, and find the place where time stands still.

Know that chaos only surrounds you, but does not inhabit you. ?You are in the center–stillness, silence, witnessing the beauty of movement swirling, awake to the presence that precedes the chaos.

Breathe. ?Breathe again. ?And again. ?Breathe in the chaos, breathe out the stillness. ?Breathe until you feel yourself being breathed, and then let it in, let in the wind that brings you sweet sips of air.

Dance. ?Dance until you are broken open, until the word chaos means nothing. ?Until you are nothing.

Surrender.

Where there is resistance, there is the invitation to go deeper.

Maybe you’re on your morning walk and you hit a wall inside. ?Or perhaps you are eating a bowl of cereal and by the first bite, there it is.

Sometimes you haven’t even gotten out of bed yet before it strikes you.

Resistance. A brick wall to the heart. ?Pema Chodron uses the Tibetan Buddhist concept of Shenpa to describe it–that place in us where we get stuck, where we turn opaque, triggered and stubborn. ?That human tendency inside us to say “no” to reality; to say “no” to what is.

Many great teachers have said it is not our pain or sorrow that brings suffering, but our resistance–that added layer of aversion to our experience of the moment. ?Without resistance, pain would be uncomfortable but not unbearable. ?Without resistance, our emotions and psyche would have the space to shift and change naturally. Read More

Within you is the seed of all life–the same force which casts brilliant azures and violets across the desert horizon at dawn. ?Within you is the strength of a mountain, the fragility of a snowflake, the passion of a volcano, the will of a tornado, the innocence of a child, the beauty of the Earth itself. ?Within you is love’s essence incarnated: A human body; a human heart; the gift of life and of awareness. ?Within you is all you seek:?you are your own beloved.

In Self-Marriage, we live from the inside-out. ?We recognize that the world and our experiences do not come?at?us; they come?from?us.

Countless spiritual/religious traditions and texts tell us that?we are Love, that all we seek can be found within. ?It is one thing to know this intellectually, and another to know it in our bodies, in our bones–to truly live it. ?To embody love each and every day of our lives.

Experiences can build–or shatter–our beliefs. ?This retreat is an opportunity to experience the belief that we are truly all we seek in this world–that?we are, at the essence, Love.??That we can live all we long for if we stop seeking it in the wrong direction and instead look within and nurture the seed of truth that lives inside us. ?When we awaken this love within, we understand that love is right here in this moment, in this very experience, in this gift of life. Read More

A door closes.? Someone tells us no.

An opportunity arises.? And passes.

We don?t get what we want.? Or we?re afraid to ask.

So we become triggered–a pang in the heart, a contraction in the stomach, the desire to curl up and hide–and we shut down.

We pretend we don?t care so we don?t have to feel.

Of what?

But what are we really hiding from?? What is beneath the fear?

Vulnerability. Read More

One day after dancing with 50 people, we all sat together in a circle to share closing remarks.

One man stood up, half-drunken or under the influence of some unfathomable substance, and, with a slurred voice, began sharing. ?And sharing. ?And sharing. ?This man went on, tangent after tangent, speaking with no awareness of his audience, speaking as if this were his only chance to be heard.

As time past, some in the circle stood up and left. ?Some rolled their eyes and some listened, hesitantly or not. ?But for some strange reason, no one asked him to stop.

One man from the circle stood out–he actually engaged with the other man, laughed at his jokes, and asked questions.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was probably just 15 minutes, the rambling man finished. ?There was silence for some time.

Those who had chosen to stay in the circle and endure his monologue looked exhausted, relieved, frustrated, and offended.

But the one man who had engaged with the rambling man’s speech was glowing. ?He spoke to the group:

“My father once told me that

if you listen to someone as if an angel is speaking to you, everything changes.”

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Often when we crave sugar, we are really craving the sweetness of a lover, the sweetness of the divine. ?That deepest state of surrender, playfulness, and overflowing love.

Since most of us are not destined to spend the entirety of our lives in bed in our lover’s arms, immersed in ecstasy, or in caves in the arms of the divine,?immersed in meditation, we must find creative ways to receive Love’s majesty in daily life.

It can be as simple as shifting your perspective.

Life, indeed, is making love to you in every moment. ?And for those of us who have ever had an aloof or unresponsive lover, we know that love-making is no one-way street. ?Making out with a cold, dusty wall simply does not do the same justice as a lover who responds to your every gesture, your every invitation, your every touch.

The greatest lover of all time is beckoning you, right now. ?Are you willing to make love to all of life, or will you turn the other cheek and complain that you’re not in the mood? Read More

In life, we move through phases of feeling empty and feeling whole. ?Like the moon itself which waxes and wanes in its cycle, we wax and wane in our own perceived wholeness (and in our hormones).

Some days, we wake up feeling spectacular?glowing?radiant and alive.

Other days, we wake up wanting to fall back asleep and forget the ache in our chest that burns with longing.

This longing comes from deep inside every human being. ?It is the yearning to be more than we are; a longing to feel that we don?t have to live this life all alone; a yearning for union; a longing for love.

It looks and plays itself out differently for each person.? And yet.? Our yearning all comes from the same place.? We all long to experience the truth that the separation and isolation we experience day-to-day is an illusion.? We wish to be nurtured, supported, seen, and cherished.

You yearn for union. ?You yearn for love. ?And you deserve no less. Read More